I ~ Mr. Intimacy Issue

intimacy issue

Dear Mr. Intimacy Issue,

I am not opposed to casual sex or (anonymous) one-night-stands. I do have one rule though: as long as the sexual encounter lasts, you are mine, and I’ll be yours. I expect you to be present. I expect a certain intimacy, whether tender or raw. This doesn’t mean I want to exclude power dynamics, or humiliation if desired and consensual. This doesn’t mean I want promises for a future. Don’t want to ever see me again afterwards? Fine. But even so, in the moment: be present, be intimate and be mine.

So let me explain to you what lack of intimacy looks like:

• Fucking me solely for your own pleasure
• Not responding to my cues, whether verbal or non-verbal
• Inviting me to take a shower with you, and then not speak to me or even look at me while we’re there
• Barely acknowledging that I’m next to you while you’re watching TV, and then expect me to be instantly aroused enough for you to finger me while you’re still completely distracted
• Not even averting your eyes from the TV screen when saying goodbye to me, as I get ready to leave at 4am, with a snow  storm raging outside

And you wonder why your relationships don’t work. You wonder why women often don’t even want to go on a second date with you. My guess is that acknowledging someone’s presence, looking her in the eye and turning of the TV is a pretty good start to connecting enough for the possibility of a second date. It might even be a good start towards a little intimacy.

As for me, I guess you can add me to that list of women who are “too shallow to try a second date.”

Bye.

Ms. Alphabet

2 thoughts on “I ~ Mr. Intimacy Issue

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